vivek jones

Kingdom Wisdom

"Only God can help us, Son!"

It was the second day that Anne and I were trying to contain JM’s fever. If not for some trust in technology, I would have suspected the functionality of our thermometer — it failed to show any reading south of 104 F. We were trying  to keep our other two children away from JM for fear of an outbreak of some endemic plague at the Joneses residence. Desperation drove us to our pediatrician. She took a few vital measurements and conducted a few room tests. Looking at us with alarm, she exclaimed, “You should have brought him earlier!”. She directed us to admit him in one of the best hospitals in our city.

A church friend and I took off to the hospital with JM. He was burning with fever and constantly clutching his head, writhing in pain from the headache. He was admitted into a spacious private room. I was happy that God gave me the privilege of taking him to a good hospital and that my insurance would cover the expenses. Before I realized, a team of doctors and nurses swooped into the room and requested me to step outside. On inquiring, I elicited a brief statement to the effect that they were to insert an IV catheter through my son’s vein. I was certain that the procedure wasn’t going to be as quick as the curtness of their response. They can’t be asking me to step out. My son needs me!, I thought. I persisted with them but they firmly asked me to comply with the hospital policies. I was ushered out of the room and as soon as they closed the door, I could hear my 3 year old screech out loudly, “Papa, Papa, Papa…I want Papa!” The howling and agony that my son went through for the next few moments cannot be minimized by words. He was traumatized as this team of medics punctured him repeatedly searching for the elusive vein. After five minutes of torture (for father and son), the door flung open. I tried sneaking back into the room but was rudely asked to step out. An attending nurse looked at me sympathetically and said that they had not found the vein yet! My blood was boiling by then. I was completely helpless. Who could I turn to for justice and help with such a treatment? An inner voice hushed within me. God. I ran to the nearest window in the corridor and desperately prayed to Jesus. Wasn’t He the healer? Isn’t He all-powerful? Haven’t I preached about Him for many years as a church pastor? I knew what I believed but in that moment, this truth became my lifeline. I cried as I prayed to Jesus asking Him to bail my son out of the misery. Playing in the background still was my son shrieking for me. But very quickly, the crying stopped. Did he faint? Was he okay? I rushed to the door and as I was about to knock, it swung open and the doctors streamed out saying that the IV was in place. I slowly walked to my son, a little bundle huddled on the huge bed. What was he thinking of me? “Why is Papa not coming to help me? Does he not care? Did I not trust him to take care of me? He can’t be trusted…”. I felt a total failure. I felt that I betrayed him. Why should my son trust me anymore? After all, I couldn’t protect him from the pain others inflicted on him. I reached by his bed and reached out to him. His face was greased with tear stains and looked hopeless as he cried, “Papa, let’s go home. I want to go home. I want to go home!”

I held his face and asked him to forgive me for not being there when he needed me. I explained how helpless I was. And then I told him that I needed to confess to him a sin. “Didn’t Papa say that I will protect you and provide for you to the very end?” He nodded his head. “John Mark, Papa was wrong and I taught you wrong. Papa isn’t any superhero. I taught you wrongly, John Mark. Only Jesus is the perfect Provider and Protector. Only He will never let you down. There are times in life you will call for me and I won’t and can’t be there to help you, boy. Papa is small and you cannot depend on me. But I can show you whom to lean on and whom to cry to. Jesus is whom you should cry to, John Mark. Even Papa cries and prays to him for help. Papa is small but Jesus is God. Even if Papa is taken off the room, Jesus will always be with us coz he never leaves us ….Only God can help us!”.

Soon I prayed with him asking Jesus to forgive me for pointing my son to the wrong messiah (me in this story) and that Jesus’ Spirit give understanding to JM, that he rely on Jesus more than his papa who is bound to fail him again. After praying, I told my son that if the doctors come again, I would have to leave but Jesus would be with him and he could trust Jesus to take care of him as Papa prays to the same Jesus from outside the door.

As soon as we talked and prayed, the doctors came again. I looked at my son and asked him as I was leaving, “Who should you look to for help, son?” And he responded with a smile “Jesus!”. I experienced forgiveness from God and JM as he smiled watching me leave the room.

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4 Replies

  1. shibu

    praise the Lord….I am new dad every night I pick my son and sing him a song do that he can sleep… Now I know what should I tell him

    1. Vivek Jones

      Shibu,
      I am glad the blog could be of help. Sometimes we know the right things but we don’t functionally act that way. That was my case till God’s Spirit convicted. Blessings for your parenthood!

  2. Rohan Koshy

    I think the “need to protect” is part of the emotions of being a dad, but thank you for emphasing that only God can take care of our loved ones.

    1. Vivek Jones

      Rohan,

      Yes, man is designed to protect and reflect what God the protector is like. And so those emotions are very right. But it becomes wrong when we or the other party perceive the ‘main’ protector as the dad figure. As a dad, my main role is to protect and have my children come away saying “Isn’t God a great protector!”. It isn’t an easy walk and I need wisdom for that.

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